Self-care: A Change in Habit
Self-care belongs to you. It is designed by you, for you. It is practiced by you. It’s the foundation of your health. Self-care acts as a reflection of your wellness: from the physical and mental to the spiritual. Self-care is a change in your current habits—habits that you determined are no longer working for your health and wellness.
But here’s the thing, habits are your automatic behaviors, the actions you default to without even thinking about it. And change requires you to select new behaviors that you feel are valuable to you. New behaviors that you integrate into your daily routine. So how do you break old habits that are getting in the way of your self-care goals?
To start, understand how habits work. In the Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg outlines a framework:
“Identify the routine, Experiment with rewards, Isolate the cue, Have a plan.”
A habit loop that consists of three parts: A cue, a routine and a reward. The most obvious part is to identify the routine or the behavior that you want to change. Then, identify the cue (the cause) and the reward (what do you get out of it).
But there are a couple of considerations past getting started. You have to stay on track and keep maintaining the progress you made. To avoid undoing your progress when you get to your goal, a mindset shift to “a new lifestyle” has to be built along the way. Going back to your old behaviors when you get to your goal will undo your progress. It’s not over because you got to your goal, it is a point of celebration—you made it! Now you have to maintain it or build on it—maybe you want to add a new self care practice you discovered along the way. Understand what you are getting out of the behavior so you can actively work to change it by replacing it with new rewarding behaviors that feel good. As you enjoy your new behavior with time, it will become easy: a new habit.
Change is not easy. This is not to discourage you by any means, it is to prepare you for all aspects of the process. Being prepared with the right mindset and strategies, you can embark on an amazing journey of self-discovery and learning about your authentic self. A growth mindset generously sprinkled with self-compassion is essential to your success on this new path. There will be obstacles, both internal (your values, thoughts, emotions, strategies) and external (your environment- people, places, situations). That being said, it is important to examine both internal and external factors and how your behaviors are influenced. This does not happen over one session of self reflection but is a continuous process as you encounter familiar and unfamiliar situations and examine your behaviors.
Self-care is not a competition. It is a journey. A journey where you continuously strive for progress. A journey where you come to understand your needs, your strengths and your limits. A journey where you take care of those needs, build on your strengths and optimize your limits. Limits are important—because you need a space to rest, recover and evolve. Over time as you grow and develop, you set new limits and uncover new strengths. Embrace it, enjoy it and learn from it.
“Habit allows us to go from ‘before’ to ‘after,’ to make life easier and better. Habit is notorious — and rightly so — for is ability to direct our actions, even against our will; but by mindfully shaping our habits, we can harness the power of mindlessness as a sweeping force for serenity, energy and growth.” –Gretchen Rubin
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