Strategies to Cope with Hope

Photo by Jan Tinneberg on Unsplash

Hope equals possibility. When life seems daunting and overwhelming — hope is the desire and expectation for things to improve. It is the anticipation that something good will happen or change for the better.

Hope is:

•a desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment

•crucial in helping us adapt to changes in our life

Benjamin Hardy tells us that how we view the future determines our experience in the present and if you lose hope the present becomes unmanageable.

In times of uncertainty and distress, hope can keep us moving forward. However as situations seem to go perpetually, hopelessness may creep up on us. Hopelessness is insidious and makes us feel alone and disconnected. It is a dark, encompassing cloud that takes over. Feelings of anhedonia- losing pleasure and apathy (lack of motivation and caring) imprison you and negative thoughts take over. You lose your ability to problem-solve and begin to feel helplessness.

Thoughts like:

“Nothing I do works,” “My circumstances will never get better,” “What’s the point of even trying?” “The pain is never going to improve,” “I’m in a dark place and can’t get out,” “I’ll never be happy.

If left unchecked or to fester, hopelessness severely impacts a person’s mood and wellbeing and can lead to devastating outcomes.

The national suicide prevention lifeline can help you or a loved one in a time of crisis.

To build hope surround yourself with good “hope providers.” Connect with others who support you. Who are the people in your life that make you feel heard and valued. By connecting with others we can re-establish a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.

In the book Hope in the Age of Anxiety, Scioli and Biller tells us the five most important things that will help a person find and sustain hope:

•Goals: write down your three most important life goals.

•Relationships: list two to three individuals who will build, and not erode your sense of trust.

•Coping: list two or three stress management skills you have or would like to possess, and make a commitment to practice them at least several times a week.

•Spirituality: list four to five of your greatest sources of faith.

This can be a god or higher power, friends, social institutions, anything that feels spiritual to you.

•Make a commitment to write out a personal “mission statement”, making it elaborate enough to guide your daily thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears — Nelson Mandela

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